Monday, February 27, 2006

Hope

I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away, my heart heavy, like lead. I remembered the old days, went over all You've done, pondered the ways You've worked. I lift my hands to You in prayer. As dry land needs rain, I thirst for You. Come quickly, Lord, for my depression deepens . . . Wake me each morning with the sound of Your loving voice, for I am trusting You. Point out the road I must travel, for I have come to You in prayer. . . Help me to do Your will, for You are my God. Lead me in good paths by Your blessed Spirit. Lord, let me live so people will praise You. Psalm 143: 4-8, 10-11 (the Message, NLT, TLB, NCV) This past Thanksgiving (2005), we traveled back to North Carolina to celebrate the holiday with Jennifer. On Tuesday, the snow was falling as we approached the base of the ascent up the mountains to Boone. Mississippi seemed far away, but my uncertainty of purpose in this new land was near. I had been missing the familiar and finding it all again challenged my thoughts of change and possibility. In the journal that I was keeping during this trip, I entered the following words: God has reminded me that uncertainty exists because we live in a world that tampers with His Plans. He - however - never changes! In Him, there is certainty of love and grace and purpose. Holy Father, the beauty of Your snow covered mountains delights my soul. With the snow, You have outlined the trees and covered imperfections. Because of sin, we need our imperfections "covered". Father, only You can cover my imperfections and exaggerate my gifts. I am listening for Your affirmations in the details - show me! The unknown confuses my ordered, analytic mind. I confess I like a plan; I love the details given sequentially. Yet, in Truth I find the bigger picture. You are a God of Perfect Love who loves us inspite of our imperfections. You are a God of majesty and miracles who reveals our beauty and requests our hearts. You are a God of compassion who finds our brokenness and restores our hope. Father, love me with Perfect Love. Let me love like You. Reveal Your beauty in me and help me open my heart. Find all the broken pieces; restore my hope. I give You all these pieces - the imperfect, disordered, uncertain pieces. Through faith, I know You can heal the broken places, guide me past uncertainty, show me possibility. Hear this searching heart. Amen. ~dho